Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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