I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
