so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
