whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
