We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
