she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
