apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
