That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
