when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
