If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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