i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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