garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
