Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
