i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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