so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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