so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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