Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Boobs speak an international language.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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