her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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