It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
