There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Less talking, more tequila
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
