so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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