hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
