i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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