I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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