Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How's work?
Spinning.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
