I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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