I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
