Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
