I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
