you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
