I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
