My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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