Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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