i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
