neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
