i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
