there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
