I feel like abortions should bother me more
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
