I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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