Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
