finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
