Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
