Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
