is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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