I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm too high and old for this...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
