Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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