He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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