yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I party with great urgency now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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