I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
