woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
