he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
