He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
