Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
