And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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