So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
