And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
